Insult Swordfighting

Discussion in 'BOARDANIA' started by KaptenKaries, Jan 19, 2006.

  1. KaptenKaries

    KaptenKaries New Member

    [quote:1bd71d9353="spiky"]I said you'd never catch my fully kitted-out ship[/quote:1bd71d9353]

    With a deck that greasy it's no wonder my hands just seem to slip.

    I've laughed in the face of death more times than you've taken a bath.
     
  2. fairyliquid

    fairyliquid New Member

    It's a pitty I prefer showers, as you appear to have been chopped in half


    I've never laid eyes on such a hideous being
     
  3. Sir_Vaims

    Sir_Vaims New Member

    Right in the mirror,you should be seeing!

    You've got an ugly mug!
     
  4. Delphine

    Delphine New Member

    It's a china teacup, you uncultured thug.

    Only your stench stops me carving my name on your chest.
     
  5. Rincewind

    Rincewind Number One Doorman Staff Member

    No, it's becuase your sword is so blunt it can't pearce by vest.


    --------------


    Why do you insist on wearing that horrible mask, holloween was ages ago!
     
  6. sleepy_sarge

    sleepy_sarge New Member

    Your insult books lost twenty pages or so

    ------------I'm feeling mean

    Your rusty old cutlass couldn't cut through an orange

    :lol:
     
  7. Sir_Gawain

    Sir_Gawain New Member

    ...yeah? Well, you fight like a cow.

    I've seen a frog more fearsome than you!
     
  8. spiky

    spiky Bar Wench

    Your ability to rhyme is on the screw

    --------

    What is that stench? Oh its your armpits
     
  9. lipi

    lipi New Member

    Your spit looks like tarpits.


    One sniff of rum and you're bent over the railing
    and at the sight of your face the fish are wailing
    (they might be laughing, but they're fish, so who can tell?)

    (Edit to add some lines)
     
  10. Sarbar

    Sarbar New Member

    " With a three second memory there thoughts are a fading....."
     
  11. Sir_Gawain

    Sir_Gawain New Member

    ...If that was an attempt to rhyme, your mind's gone a-wading.
     
  12. Sarbar

    Sarbar New Member

    " a-wading it has, three seconds have passed (that long !) "

    "His face was the colour of Dog-sick puke"
     
  13. spiky

    spiky Bar Wench

    Your ego's go-go can't keep time


    __________________



    My planks are shivering at my scullduggeriness*



    *huh rhyme that
     
  14. Sir_Gawain

    Sir_Gawain New Member

    And your made-up words are quite atrocious.

    (You responded to her signature, Spiky.)

    I can fight you until your face turns purple!
     
  15. Ozzer

    Ozzer New Member

    An unlikely occurence, as your weapons are made of periople.*


    Your mother looks like the hind end of a buffalo.**



    *The thin, waxy outer layer of a hoof

    **No offense to hypothetical mothers
     
  16. Bradthewonderllama

    Bradthewonderllama New Member

    Whilst yours has the subtlety of Jeaneane Garrofalo

    Your heart is so small, a hummingbird's beats it.
     
  17. mowgli

    mowgli New Member

    Your right wing's so flappy, a zephyr unseats it!

    You can't even manage to muster a rhyme!
     
  18. Bradthewonderllama

    Bradthewonderllama New Member

    At least I can cook, and even use thyme!


    Your peg leg is so rotten, even termites won't touch it.
     
  19. spiky

    spiky Bar Wench

    At lest I have a leg, you legless git

    I've fallen over and i can't reach my beer!
     
  20. Katcal

    Katcal I Aten't French !

    Get out of my way or I'll push you off the pier !


    Millenium hand and shrimp ! Buggrit !*


    *I do hope this isn't under copyright :D
     
  21. drunkymonkey

    drunkymonkey New Member

    (gotta love Monkey Island. My favourite adventure games)

    I love the look of your left leg. May I remove it? (that was awful, wasn't it?)

    --------------------------------------
    I bet you're gay!
     
  22. fairyliquid

    fairyliquid New Member

    whatever you say :roll:

    If I stamp on your head all that will come out is air!
     
  23. Katcal

    Katcal I Aten't French !

    That's 'cos it's so solid, to be fair.



    Your parrot's moulting so bad it's revolting !
     
  24. mowgli

    mowgli New Member

    The stench of your breath is really quite jolting!

    The one thing of worth in your head is your earring!
     
  25. Bradthewonderllama

    Bradthewonderllama New Member

    Your eyes are so awful, your gaze is quite searing.

    Your sword sure is sharp! (Like sharp cheddar cheese)
     
  26. Sarbar

    Sarbar New Member

    Excuse me for laughing at your extremely nobbly knees ! :badgrin:


    " And now I think the time has..."
     
  27. Sir_Gawain

    Sir_Gawain New Member

    The time has what, you little a**? (Not sure if it'll show the whole word or not.)
     
  28. spiky

    spiky Bar Wench

    But tomorrow feels so much better being far away

    ----------

    I've gotten up and I've reached my beer, hooray!
     
  29. Hsing

    Hsing Moderator Staff Member

    [quote:196c9a5eff="spiky"]I've gotten up and I've reached my beer, hooray![/quote:196c9a5eff]

    So that's why you prattle, babble and sway.




    Your smell would turn even a starving vulture away.
     
  30. Katcal

    Katcal I Aten't French !

    Well your looks, miss, would turn even a pirate gay !



    Yarr, you should bottle your stink and sell it as mosquitoe repellent !
     
  31. Ozzer

    Ozzer New Member

    It's still not as bad as yours--think 'decomposing elephant'...



    The wind whistles through your skull like wind on the Sahara.
     
  32. Sarbar

    Sarbar New Member

    :badgrin:
    Who do you think I am, bloomin' Luminara ? (Jedi knight).

    =really struggled with something to ryhme with 'sahara'=


    "My acne's been itchin' yar for far to long...."
     

Share This Page